That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
