just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
