He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I hate all girls vehemently.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
