If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
