Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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