as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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