I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
