i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
