Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
