You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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