yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
