no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
