just come out here and I will go home with you...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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