Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
