I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I wish i was in the wii world.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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