If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
