somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
