So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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