I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
it's like iHOP with fire
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
