I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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