Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
