clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
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Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
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He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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