i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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