He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
