Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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