peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
