you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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