a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
