Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
