How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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