her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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