we're blogging at a bar
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
