You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
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I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
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So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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