It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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