i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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