Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Boobs are out for the taking
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey