i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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