i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
