So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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