I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
