Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
