So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
