from now on my penis is your penis
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
the day after is always just damage control
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
