I accidentally burped into my bong.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
