Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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