The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
