I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
