and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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