i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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