I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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