last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize