i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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