oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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