There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
