I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
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woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
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I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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