Can Purell be used as lube?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I think my moral compass just broke
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
