my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
