Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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