she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
