I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize