everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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