We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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