'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
